Doesn’t Count.

No. We aren’t doing this. I broke up with you for a reason. I’m not just going to forget every stupid thing you’ve ever done, or more accurately not done, just so we’ll be together. I honestly think I lost my brain this weekend. Snuggling up with you? Sneaking out with you? KISSING YOU?! What on earth? Why did I let you do that? Why did I want that? It was so quick, so sudden, that I felt nothing, what so ever, at all, none. That kiss was saved, and I just gave it to the wrong guy. It was meant for.. I don’t know. But not this. I was going to kiss someone I liked. I tied so much of my identity to the girl who’s never kissed anyone, that I never thought to consider what it’d be like to have kissed someone. In essence, you took a piece of me, and I’d love it back. I understand it’s non-returnable, and there is no receipt, but just in case you wanted to know, I want it back. And I’m not counting that as my first kiss. My first kiss is going to be with someone I’m dating, whom I actually like, not to a guy I used to date who just kissed someone else. Two reasons why I’m not counting it:

1) It happened so quickly and so fast, I didn’t even get my eyes shut all the way. Plus, seriously? just going to quickly kiss me like it means nothing? I mean, it did mean nothing, I felt nothing, didn’t feel anything at all. But still… Seriously?

2) You are no longer my boyfriend. I broke up with you for a reason. I feel nothing for you now. Honestly, the kiss was equivalent to kissing a wall for me. Physically, yeah we kissed for a millisecond. Emotionally, however, nothing happened. Then again, though, I’m glad I met you. You’re the one who always asked me if anything was wrong. The one who I stayed up late at night just to talk to about the most random things. The one who got and laughed at all my jokes, good and bad. As much as I want to hate you, I really just want to thank you for teaching me new things, and for showing me what I don’t want in a relationship, at the same time as you showed me what I do want.

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