Moving. It is an interesting thing. For example…
The Tuesday before my graduation on Friday and my moving day on Saturday I cried over classmates I had only weeks ago thought I’d never miss. Suddenly old memories were flooding my brain as the tears flew down my face and I realized that all my talk was a lie. I really would miss these people and this stage of my life. I was moving on and that is so exciting but I couldn’t neglect to remember this beautiful time that was my life. I loved going to school from 8-4, even though I said I hated it. I liked getting up with a purpose in the morning and knowing I would see my classmates. Although we didn’t always get along, it was nice to know that a normalness awaited at school. My classmates that Tuesday night all reminescied too, and talked about many things. Fears, anxiousness, cuss words, cancer struggles, friend struggle, depression, suicidal thoughts, ect. were all discussed. Usually we wouldn;t, but I think everyone on that trip realized we were a disfunctional family all along.
Anyhow, even though I cried that night I also had fun that week. I jumped in a lake, I made up with people I always thought I’d hate, and I came to terms with leaving. At graduation during the video they play with the sad music and baby pictures made me cry because I could almost see these people’s stories played out on that screen. We all had become real grown ups, actual adults. It was time to go. Yet, I cried through the whole video. I looked across and locked eyes with classmates who shook their head at me or smiled a smile that made me cry harder. But once the video was over, and it was time to walk across the stage, I felt that strength come back in my system.
I was ready.
I had cried my tears, I had hugged and taken pictures, I had done my time. It was time to get that diploma. So I walked across and got cheers of applause. I got flowers and gave them away. I got a lei that made the headmaster question me on stage which made me laugh. I threw up my hat and said PEACE to high school. My boyfriend spun me around like crazy and hugged me tight. My friends came and gave me hugs and congrats. I said my thank yous and gave my last drops of good byes. And I left.
The next day I got up and got ready to leave. All my boxes were packed, all my items were ready. At 530 on a Saturday afternoon, I said goodbye to my old bed, my old room, my old house, my old life. And I got in my car and drove to say goodbye to my bestest friend. Then I left Enid for good.
See, where did all of those tears go? I was truly ready to go and leave and move on. I had prepared my mind and heart and soul and calmed my storm that Tuesday night and Friday night said good bye. I end again by saying moving is a funny thing. I’m glad I’m here. I find it hard to miss old things because I am happy where I am. Yet I loved that time in my life.
This is my toast to my old life. Cheers.
The Muse 