Existential Pining

As I scroll through Instagram and look at photos of people I no longer see or particularly care about, I become a tad bit existential. What does this all mean? I want to meet more people, get more involved in there lives, get more aquainted with all the whole world with it’s many colors, accents, and faces.

I want to travel.

I want to pack up my car and my boyfriend and my little life and leave.

Yet..

That is not what I am to do.

I am to live the American life right now. I can begin making connections slowly, and leave eventually.

For now I am called to stay.

And that existentially, experientially, sucks.

But I must believe it is better.