Dynamic Changes of Leaving

I greatly admire birds, as my posts suggest. I often visualize myself as a bird chained to a specific spot, unable to spread her beautiful wings and leave as gracefully as she came. The thing with birds my romantic view refuses to think about is the fact that while they are free to come and go, they hardly ever stay. The constant shift in coming and going means no connections, no personal ties forever. While in a way this sounds appealing, it only sounds appealing in the idealist sense. I have made ties and to break away and leave would mean to completely abandon it all and migrate away to someplace new, with it’s own chains and cages ready to trap me again. Is that really what I want? In some relationships, yes. I cannot wait to leave in some instances. Yet the pragmatist in me can’t help but realize that leaving is not as freeing as it seems to be. One cannot just leave because they believe someplace else will be better, prettier, bolder, and bigger. While I still imagine my wings coming out and my confidence shining as I go to make something of myself, I will not sit by and use the future as an escape from the present. When I stop staring at clouds and daydreaming of places and things and people I’ve never met or seen, I find my home in people here and now. I find my joy in the smallest places and things and people. So yes, I am bird ready to fly away, but for now I guess I’ll be content to stay.

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