Unsatisfyingly Happy Ending

“They all go through their little ruts, but they end up alright in the end”

Although this is a quote from my better half in reference to the Walking Dead series characters, I believe this is true of the characters in our own lives. My mother went through a divorce in 2014 and now she is back with her husband. I was not sure how I felt about this. I wanted her to be strong enough to be by herself; I wanted her to be happy in my own definition of happy.

I was holding your hand when the whole world came crashing down

I was listening with a pained heart when no one was around

My heart hardened when you found another man to caress

My ears were turned off when you said you knew best

Lonely nights you spent alone in your bed

Fearing the future with scary thoughts in your head

I tried to convince you I could be enough

Knowing the sweet nothings were too tough.

How telling retrospect can be

It is now that I can finally see

You were just going through a rut, a crevice if you will

A huge dent that looked as if it would loot and pilage and kill

Yet you have risen again, my beautiful Phoenix bird

As long as you are happy, I care not that all of the lines are blurred.

Never to Fade

I used to believe in 11:11 wishes, 

Used to dream of midnight kisses, 

I believed in these things and much more, 

But all that was in a time long, long, before, 

Before the boy ripped at my chest, 

Smiling, thinking he knew what was best, 

Tearing me limb from limb, reaching for my core, 

My insides are completely red, raw, and sore, 

Mutilated, none of these fairy tale dreams remain, 

My once white canvass has a permanent stain, 

a stain made in a fit of red passion all too fast, 

I guess intimacy and love were never meant to last, 

All my birthday wishes never did come true, 

Every day no longer bright, but gray & blue, 

Waking up in this big bed all alone, 

Searching for a nonexistent note by the hotel phone.

The young, beautiful boy disguised as a sheep, 

Snuck out quietly as a wolf, leaving me stuck in sleep.